Single girl trying out Plenty of Fish.com at the insistence of her family. A comedic tragedy like this cannot go undocumented...the revolution will not be televised, it'll be blogged.
Yea, it’s been a while since I had posted…(and another Fish story)
But that Master’s thesis sucked up most of my free time. Don’t worry, I have another fun story, too. The date that almost was. And thank GOD it didn’t happen!
So it was a Jewish guy. Cool. However, there’s a distinctive difference between Reform Judaism (me) and Conservative Judaism (him). At first it wasn’t a big deal until the really crazy “if you were a good Jewish woman…” stuff started to emerge.
For example… why do I care if I have a sexy dress for a concert coming up? Don’t I know that good Jewish women should only look good for their husbands/boyfriends and not some musician who I will never meet?
…On that note, why AM I going to that concert if he and I will be together? Good Jewish women shouldn’t make plans without asking their husbands/boyfriends!
….So yea, cancel my upcoming graduation trip AND my vacation in December (which have already been paid for!) because if I want to be a good Jewish woman, I’d do that since I didn’t make those plans with my husband/boyfriend!
Oh, and my Masters? I should quit. With three weeks to go. A good Jewish woman shouldn’t more educated than her husband/boyfriend, yanno!
Since I was unwilling to do ANY of that, he decided we wouldn’t work out. No shit, sherlock!
It’s no wonder I am so over dating and why I have stayed single for so long. Sometimes I think it’d be fun to give it a try, just go in with no expectations (which is a GOOD thing) and see what happens. I think after the explosives request, I may just give it up and call it a day. This shit isn’t worth it at all! Then again, I’m sure some guy is going to arouse my sense of morbid curiousity and I’ll allow the freakshow to continue because I feel like I need another trainwreck or two in my life.
You know, most guys usually ask for a kiss or something…
So I met a Fish. At first it wasn’t too bad. We thought it’d be fun if I showed up with a quick lunch at his workplace and we chilled there for a bit. He seemed normal and kinda fun and I was willing to overlook the fact that his picture was taken several years and 60 pounds ago because he seemed cool. Then I split and went to the mall for a bit until we were meeting for dinner.
Dinner. Heh. Then it unraveled. The gun talk was OK because, I own some too, but his aren’t for deer hunting like mine, put it that way. He also exposed himself as a raging homophobic, very racist, prone to stereotyping, and I lost all interest in my food and him. To get ME to lose interest in my fried fish is a tough thing to do.
Then I had the most UNUSUAL first date question asked of me at dinner.
Would I PLEASE go online and buy some potassium something from this website. He needed it because he was afraid he’d set off red flags because he had some tubes (“this one can blow off ARMS!!!) and explosive powder already on its way to the house.
Jaw, meet floor.
I just slid a $20 onto the table, said we were too different and for him to take care.
High-tailed it to my car, called my friend with an OMFG can you believe this shit phone call and called the police. While the officer got a good chuckle over it (“don’t most guys ask for a kiss or something?”), he seemed genuinely concerned and was glad I called and reassured me I am “doing the right thing”.
I’m speaking with their terrorism unit tomorrow morning.
I can’t do this dating shit no more! UGH!
You’re joking, right?
Why does some self-proclaimed hillbilly guy think he can get a Jewish American Princess like me to actually listen to country music and go to some monster truck show?
Seriously, I’d rather watch someone take a dump in my favorite pair of shoes than to endure such a thing. At least I can buy a new pair of shoes. I could not get those hours of my life back if I went to… gross.
Why WOULD a guy write someone who is as city as he is country anyway…and NOT FREAKING GIVE UP, like rationalizing WHY he is right for me, pulling the “I’m a NICE GUY” bit…
Seriously. County fairs? Monster truck shows? Tractor pulls?
I’m about to sip expensive drinks at a posh hotel’s lobby and he thinks I’d enjoy… a county fair?! Drinking beer at a tractor pull?
Sheesh, fish… at least choose people you have something in common with, don’t embarass yourself!!!
I’m proud of myself, though, I did not come out and say to him that being surrounded by white trash was offensive to every fibre of my being. I kept telling him I’m a waste of his time, I am not right for him, not his type….trying to say “It’s not YOU it’s ME”…. still didn’t get it. I eventually just said that my reserves of politeness are running low, there’s no chance at all so stop trying.
![madamethursday:
[Image: Four feminine-presenting people on a poster tinted pink in front of a pink back ground with a lighter pink female sign in the background. Above their heads is the text in brown, pink and white font: “Apparently, America’s greatest threat are healthy, independent, sexually active women.” At the bottom of the poster in white font is the text: “Trust women. Stand with Planned Parenthood.”]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lj0dcuHuum1qivn7do1_400.jpg)
[Image: Four feminine-presenting people on a poster tinted pink in front of a pink back ground with a lighter pink female sign in the background. Above their heads is the text in brown, pink and white font: “Apparently, America’s greatest threat are healthy, independent, sexually active women.” At the bottom of the poster in white font is the text: “Trust women. Stand with Planned Parenthood.”]
via rabbleprochoice
One reason I love being single…
Having a room at Peabody Place all to myself in two weeks :-)
On the fishing front, I may meet up with a Fish when I am on a shopping trip tomorrow. Figure if he doesn’t show, at least my primary purpose for being out that way is accomplished.
That grammar and capitalization is way too good.
via subtleyetsarcastic
I had to give myself incentive as to why I am still single
I reactivated my profile and wow… the pigs have come out of the woodwork!
One was a truly disgusting and disrespectful reply.
I decided to be forward with this message, honesty is the best policy anyway! I think you are very sexy and I would love to see you in person. I just hope I can break the rule of “look but don’t touch”!
Merited a disrespectful and nasty response from me, too :-D
What a throughly disgusting and insulting response! Am I supposed to be some desperate, low-self-esteem “OMG I NEED A MAN OR I DIES!!!!” type chick who will fall at your feet in love that someone like you has DEIGNED to notice ME??
I don’t play that shallow-ass game. There will never be ANY scenario where the “no touch” rule is broken. Especially with your disgusting, chauvenistic attitude. Freaking disgusting and disrespectful.
Thanks for giving me more fodder for my blog. I was coming up short on good materials. Thanks for giving single girls around the world another reason to stay that way!!!
Another reason I love being single? Vacation!!! A week that mixes solo travel and time with my girl friends :-) Flying to Memphis for a solo night on Beale Street then a drive to San Antonio, Texas, to hang out with a friend I haven’t seen in AGES… followed by taking another friend in Louisiana out for her birthday… then an afternoon in Memphis before I fly back to reality.
I reached for the stars. They were just airplanes. They crashed and burned
“Let’s pretend that airplanes in the night skies are shooting stars….”
For some… years… I’ve had a theory that I have been cockblock-cursed. I have a mountain of proof to back it up.
Well, just when I thought it was bad I couldn’t even get to the first date, it’s now clear that I can’t even get to the first phone call!!!
After weeks of emails, a pretty cool guy from JPeopleMeet and I finally decided to do the phone call thing. What a mistake.
He first calls me when I was at work. No biggie, I just let him know I was at work and couldn’t talk.
The right thing to do would be to wait for me to call when I get off work, or ask me to call you when I could.
The wrong thing to do would be to call a minute later, and from there, proceed to call me every fucking flip-flopping minute for about an hour straight. Dude, I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.
I’m SO glad Droids come with an option that sends a number straight to voicemail, otherwise, I would have found a way to go through the phone and choke a bitch.
The online dating thing just won’t happen for me because the whole dating thing isn’t happening for me. That’s OK, I have my fingers in way too many pies as it is…. work, Master’s degree, several art projects… men would just get in my way anyway.
Packed up my tackle and called it a day
I put my profile on private to where only people I’ve communicated with can see it.
My initial hunch about this site was correct: whatever I’m “after”, isn’t going to be in this area. I know every area has its Douche Fish and Psycho Fish, but this was ridiculous.
Maybe I may make it public again, but in the meantime? Hardly worth the hassle of a nightmare every few hours in my inbox.
If he’s 555 then I’m Sick Sick Sick
Never imagined I could take advantage of Slipknot lyrics in a reply to a pervy fish! This is the email I just received from someone with 555 in their username (and I couldn’t resist the Slipknot lyric):
i am a 35 white man good looking i am looking for a lady for fun of the sexuall nature i am 6ft 2 tall and very well endowed interested?????
I replied:
If you’re 555 then I’m SICK SICK SICK.
No. Not interested. You’ve managed to completely repulse me.
His profile states that he’s 41. He’s also a liar fish in some regard. Ugh I hate Friday nights on this site. All the sickos seem to come out.
